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Amusing, Dangerous and Just Plain Annoying 20 January, 2008

Posted by monopod in Maternity Musings.

One thing I’ve discovered since becoming pregnant is that some of the things that seem to be very familiar residents in the inventory of Things Associated With Pregnancy are really quite true. Like pregnancy brain, which is thankfully being managed successfully by the usual lists of things to do (though the lists have undergone a bit of an expansion and now include things like ‘remember to zip up your trousers’ and other similar assorted goodies).

One other mainstay is what everyone seems to feel obliged to say when they find out you’re pregnant, i.e. “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” and, after you inevitably reply that it won’t matter, “Oh, as long as it’s healthy”. To which, equally formulaically, I say that it really doesn’t matter either because even if the little one isn’t healthy we’re going to love him or her just the same.

Then there are the people who have actually come out with things like “Oh, I’m not feeling very well today so I’ll stay away but when I’m better I’ll have a feel to see how much baby has grown!”

I have no scruples about telling strangers where to put it (or alternatively stroking their bellies in return, though thankfully the need hasn’t yet arisen). Equally I have no objection to people whom I know reasonably well touching my bump when they make the appropriate overtures/requests in advance. But I was quite gobsmacked by the assumption of entitlement. I opted to be polite and not rock the boat, which you can either ascribe to my having been brought up well by my parents or being a wuss or somewhere in the diplomatic between.

Finally, I have of late been thinking that baby naming is a bit of a minefield. I was chatting with a colleague the other day and was thoroughly tickled to learn that she’d thought of naming her son Richard Edward, except that someone had pointed out to her that Richard might be shortened to Dick, and Edward Ed, and – well. So they opted to name him Richard Christopher instead, except now his initials spell R.C. so really it’s a good job he is from time to time, making it at least an accurate description. Given that children can be particularly cruel, you see, you have to be careful not only not to call your offspring things like – I dunno, Moxie CrimeFighter or Jermajesty
or Sundried Tomato, but also not to saddle them with names that make their initials end up spelling FAT or DUMB or AREYOUKIDDING or something with a similar flavour.

We’ve been mulling over baby names too. Family weren’t too impressed with our initial shortlist. I’m not too sure how receptive they’re going to be to what we appear to have decided on ever since I made the mistake of buying Practical Parenting yesterday, which came with a free book of baby names, and Him took a fancy to one and managed to get me entirely too enthusiastic about it too…



1. SePPiE - 21 January, 2008

I’m helping with the baby’s Chinese name!! 🙂

2. monopod - 21 January, 2008

Hello dear! I’ve edited your comment slightly because we haven’t yet told (most of our) friends about whether we’re having a boy or a girl 😛

About a Chinese name – I think your brother will be talking to your mum and dad about that when he next calls home…

3. bouncybaby - 21 January, 2008

Lots I want to reply to in this, but I’m pressed for time right now so just a quickie!

a) tell people who touch your bump without permission that if they do it again you’ll break their fingers and have them done for assault.

b) an alternative to a) is to say ‘Baby? What baby?’ and embarrass the heck out of people! lol

c) totally agree with the concept of rolling off names over and over again, check for dodgy initials and potentially terrible abbreviations and get outsiders to check them, too – don’t rely on just you and Him as if you like a name enough you can miss the obvious!

I’ll be in touch properly soon, unless I see you on Friday first! Gxx

4. monopod - 22 January, 2008

I’ll run the names past you on Friday 😉

5. Songs and Names » Amusing Dangerous and Just Plain Annoying monopod - 10 March, 2008

[…] Dig deeper into the topic here […]

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