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Maternal Musings #1 – Mortality 27 December, 2007

Posted by monopod in Maternity Musings.

I took a turn for the worse last night after thinking that I was very much on the mend and having prematurely ventured out earlier in the day to the heaving mass that is post-Christmas Birmingham.

Struggling to breathe can be fairly traumatic at any point, but it takes on a whole new dimension when there is someone inside you whose life is equally wholly dependent on your continuing to carry out this basic activity. Him whisked me off to the NHS Walk-In Centre when I got thoroughly upset and paranoid about the little one because everything had gotten clogged up and I couldn’t stop my heart racing, couldn’t hear properly, and nearly blacked out when getting up from the bed.

So that’s where I spent a couple of lightheaded and trembly hours on Boxing Day night, before we finally got to see a nurse and she reassured us after a battery of checks that the devil cold hadn’t turned into a devil of a bacterial infection and that although she didn’t have a doppler with which to ease my paranoia and she wasn’t certain that the Piriton I’d been taking to try and manage my overproductive nasal cavities was a-ok to take during pregnancy, although she was sure that my doctors wouldn’t have told me to take it if it weren’t, she was sure that the baby was fine but my, that’s a lovely bump and didn’t it look bigger than a 19-week one.

I’m ok this morning. Levity is very important in putting some perspective on distress, and while I’m calm and rational now last night was a very different kettle of fish. Which is why I thought I’d end this particular post by reflecting that when the nurse commented on my it-is-a-nineteen-week-bump bump my mind immediately flicked to the fear that baby was now suffering from macrosomia because the glucose they’d found in my pee during my last antenatal visit had turned into full-blown gestational diabetes.


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