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The Spaceship Has Landed 25 May, 2005

Posted by monopod in Him, Peabrain, Self-Absorption.

Follow-up to Senility is not an option

Now that I’ve got enough blog posts to warrant sub-categories I’ve created a few. Notable among them is the category ‘peabrain’, which is self-explanatory and documents, among other things, my complete lack of self-awareness at inopportune moments.

On Saturday, up bright and early to start an examination at the Desso, I prised open bleary eyes to get my contact lenses in (being optimistic about wearing sunnies, so of course it rained like billy-oh, but I digress). I don’t get along well with lenses on good days, but my left lens was being even more contrary than usual – gritty feeling, refusing to sit properly etc., so I had blurred vision in that eye the whole day.

Fast forward to trying to get them out at night – they don’t half suction-cap themselves on dry eyeballs. Finally managed to extract the right lens, but no amount of manhandling my left eyeball would get the left one out.


Light dawns – maybe there IS NO LENS IN YOUR EYE.

Cue manic searching of bathtub and sink. Did you actually put the lens in this morning? Are you actually capable of walking around the entire day thinking you have a lens in your eye when you don’t? And then trying to get out a lens for a good few minutes without realising there isn’t anything in there? (Don’t answer that.)

Run downstairs to inform Him about recent developments. Him says nothing but looks like he’s wondering how on earth he got stuck with Peabrain. Eye still feels gritty. Maybe it’s made its way somewhere north or south of where it’s meant to be. Him reassures me that if it’s stuck in my eye somewhere it’ll come out at night.

Cue sulking because I can’t stand not knowing.

Wander upstairs to have another look. Still nothing in bathroom.

Wander into bedroom. Don’t see –

Him nearly died laughing when I told him I’d found a little shrivelled lens stuck to my bedroom mirror.



1. Casey Leaver - 25 May, 2005

I still love this story!

It reminds me of a uni friend who used to routinely wake up with a headache and prise out dried contact lenses.

She was trying to do it one morning for 20 minutes before realising that in a rare moment of tipsy sense the night before she had actually removed them.

Result: scratched corneas.

2. monopod - 25 May, 2005

The way I’m going, there’ll probably be scratched corneas in the too-close-for-comfort vicinity sometime soon…

3. monopod - 25 May, 2005

Oh, and at least your friend has alcohol as a scapegoat…

4. bev - 26 May, 2005

=P so funny

5. Angie Cross - 8 June, 2005

Continuous wear lenses! I can’t advocate them enough!

6. monopod - 8 June, 2005

I was looking into daily disposables but they don’t yet make them in my prescription. Hadn’t looked at continuous wear ones, but may do a bit of Googling now…

7. Angie Cross - 8 June, 2005

If you want to discuss, let me know! I have been wearing for nearly 3 years with no complaints.

8. monopod - 8 June, 2005

Will do Angie – thanks!

I was also looking into laser treatment, but was getting conflicting info on whether it could treat lenticular astigmatism. It’d be nice to be able to see without either specs or lenses!

9. Angie Cross - 8 June, 2005

I’ve heard lots of bad things about it, and some good. Depends on your particular problems and how bad your vision is in the first place.

10. Angie Cross - 8 June, 2005

Having said this, I once spent an entire day wandering around glumly, having tried to put a new lens in my left eye, but every time I did it went blurry and made me feel sick. Wasn’t until the evening that I realised I hadn’t removed the old lens first, and was doubling up! Just goes to show that problems are usually the fault of the user, rather than the technology!

11. monopod - 8 June, 2005

Mwahahahahahaha. You’re just as bad as I am!

12. Angie Cross - 8 June, 2005

That was a very evil-sounding (looking?) laugh!

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