#1
Me: Ethan bit my toe today. I was sitting down on the chair with my leg tucked beneath me and he was standing up beside me. I looked away for a moment and all of a sudden OW.
Him: He tried to bite my ankle yesterday.
Me: Weird boy.
Him: …
Me: Since when have I bitten your ankle??
Him: That’s just social norms.

#2 (eating raisins and in a contrary mood)
Him: Did you take those from the pack that was already open?
Me: There was a pack that was already open? … Well, now there are two packs that are open.
Him: Got expiry dates you know.
Me: They’re raisins.
Him: May have fungus.
Me: …
Him: …
Me: I like fungus.