Today I was standing at the counter at the post office, minus brain, when the member of staff who was serving asked me what was in the package I was sending, and I dreamily replied “a birthday present for my mum”. It took me a few seconds to realise he wasn’t really interested in my filial piety.

Then later in the afternoon I got on the escalator and someone tried to pick me up. It would have been flattering except he was creepy, so after he told me I had a sweet face and asked whether I wanted to be his friend I politely told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea, then proceeded to look studiously in the opposite direction and thank my lucky stars that escalators are short.

In other news, today Ethan woke up and had a big milk feed, then ate a big bowl of porridge for breakfast, then had a big milk feed after his morning nap, then had a big bowl of pasta with pork, tomatoes and herbs, then snacked on a biscuit and bits of my fish while we were out in Birmingham, then had two biscuits in the car on the way home, and then had mushroom risotto for dinner before finishing off his epicurean day with a nice big milk feed. I think someone is having a growth spurt.

And finally, the reason that you have been looking at totem animal poetry for the past two months is that I have not been juggling everything successfully and have had to give priority to fending off evil nursery bugs and going to work with all my buttons buttoned in the right order.