because this blog is becoming baby-obsessed, I thought I would write about something entirely unrelated. Therefore I would like to announce that I have recently added the following to my nostalgia book collection:

- The Malory Towers series (Enid Blyton)
- The Secret Island series (Blyton again - the only one still missing is The Secret of Moon Castle)
- The first three books in each of the Faraway Tree and Wishing Chair collections (Blyton)
- The Time Quintet (Madeleine L’Engle)
- Marianne Dreams (Catherine Storr)
- A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
- What Katy Did At School and What Katy Did Next (Susan Coolidge)
- Gulliver’s Travels (Jonathan Swift)
- Good Wives (Louisa M. Alcott - now just missing Little Men)
- The Wizard of Oz (L. Frank Baum)

I have also re-read the whole of the Beatrix Potter collection and am working my way through the complete Winnie the Pooh, which were both bought at the tender age of 19 for my future kids.

Oops.

To redeem myself I’ll also tell you that I recently found the Roxette Hits! CD at HMV for the princely sum of 6 pounds (double or nearly double the price everywhere else), and am looking forward to receiving in the post this CD from Amazon after having heard the Coull Quartet perform the second movement of the Ravel String Quartet in F Major, which is really quite delightful.

On that unusually cultured note, I’m off to squash some more paper in the recycling bin, and then I will attempt to do something useful around the house instead of continuing to cultivate my bug-in-the-rug alter-ego.

I’d barely gotten well and now I’ve fallen ill again. I don’t know how long this particular bug is going to last but I’ve been taking regular doses of paracetamol since Wednesday and gargling with salt water, and the good news is that things so far appear to be under control. Prognosis is therefore that this one, thankfully, won’t be a keeper.

All this has in itself taken some getting used to as I’m generally one of the only people not to get ill when a bug wings its way around the office - in fact the last time I remember being down with a bad cold/flu was in 2002.

Other than the suppressed immune system this pregnancy has so far pretty much been smooth sailing. I had hardly any problems in the first few months apart from some fatigue and vague queasiness between weeks 5 and 7, and then only some backache and a touch of sciatica so far during this second trimester. So this is why Thursday morning came as a bit of a surprise.

Physically I was feeling very tired and pretty awful but went in to work anyway as I had commitments to fulfil. This is normally par for the course but subsequent developments then proceeded to completely sideswipe me after my boss, in a typically jolly mood, asked if I had a couple of minutes to spare. I made it to the door of his office, whereupon he looked at me askance and asked me whether I was ok - whereupon I horrified myself by bursting into tears and going utterly to pieces.

I have never been so embarrassed. Everyone, including my boss, was wonderful and fantastically supportive - they left me alone for a little while on the sofa in my boss’ office with my colleague’s box of Miffy tissues, during which time I unsuccessfully attempted to pull it together despite firm admonitions to self, and then, after some very kind words and hugs, they got one of our drivers to send me home despite my protestations. Final dénouement was a massive bawl on Him’s shoulder once I’d made it home, swiftly followed by a comforting meal of ice cream and chips.

I am better today, if still woefully embarrassed by inexplicably and suddenly losing control like that and mortified to think about having put on such a ghastly unprofessional display. Today I mused that it felt like someone else had taken over my body, at which point I was reminded that actually, I wasn’t very far off the mark.

One thing I’ve discovered since becoming pregnant is that some of the things that seem to be very familiar residents in the inventory of Things Associated With Pregnancy are really quite true. Like pregnancy brain, which is thankfully being managed successfully by the usual lists of things to do (though the lists have undergone a bit of an expansion and now include things like ‘remember to zip up your trousers’ and other similar assorted goodies).

One other mainstay is what everyone seems to feel obliged to say when they find out you’re pregnant, i.e. “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” and, after you inevitably reply that it won’t matter, “Oh, as long as it’s healthy”. To which, equally formulaically, I say that it really doesn’t matter either because even if the little one isn’t healthy we’re going to love him or her just the same.

Then there are the people who have actually come out with things like “Oh, I’m not feeling very well today so I’ll stay away but when I’m better I’ll have a feel to see how much baby has grown!”

I have no scruples about telling strangers where to put it (or alternatively stroking their bellies in return, though thankfully the need hasn’t yet arisen). Equally I have no objection to people whom I know reasonably well touching my bump when they make the appropriate overtures/requests in advance. But I was quite gobsmacked by the assumption of entitlement. I opted to be polite and not rock the boat, which you can either ascribe to my having been brought up well by my parents or being a wuss or somewhere in the diplomatic between.

Finally, I have of late been thinking that baby naming is a bit of a minefield. I was chatting with a colleague the other day and was thoroughly tickled to learn that she’d thought of naming her son Richard Edward, except that someone had pointed out to her that Richard might be shortened to Dick, and Edward Ed, and - well. So they opted to name him Richard Christopher instead, except now his initials spell R.C. so really it’s a good job he is from time to time, making it at least an accurate description. Given that children can be particularly cruel, you see, you have to be careful not only not to call your offspring things like - I dunno, Moxie CrimeFighter or Jermajesty
or Sundried Tomato, but also not to saddle them with names that make their initials end up spelling FAT or DUMB or AREYOUKIDDING or something with a similar flavour.

We’ve been mulling over baby names too. Family weren’t too impressed with our initial shortlist. I’m not too sure how receptive they’re going to be to what we appear to have decided on ever since I made the mistake of buying Practical Parenting yesterday, which came with a free book of baby names, and Him took a fancy to one and managed to get me entirely too enthusiastic about it too…

I hardly ever make any New Year resolutions, mainly because it’s never occurred to me to do so, but also because I quite imagine that most of them would be doomed to failure. I also realise that we are more than halfway through January already, so the timeliness of this endeavour is somewhat off-kilter.

But since this year is going to be a year of new developments in many ways, I’ve come up with two resolutions to share with you.

The first is not to make our child’s first year a dysfunctional one. I think I may already have broken that one because I’ve been singing “Old Turkey Buzzard”* to the poor unsuspecting babe in the womb. Ah well.

The second is to learn some geography already, dammit, because I have played the “Traveler IQ Challenge” and my lack of knowledge about where things are is so eyebrow-raising I’m just going to go curl up under my duvet now for the rest of the afternoon, in horror .

*It is true that there is nothing inherently dysfunctional about this song. But all I can remember of my mum singing it to me is the lines up to ‘awaiting for something down below to die’.

In no particular order of merit, and by no means an exhaustive list:

#1: Boobage - so this is what they call cleavage! 3 cup sizes up and counting
#2: Basketball belly (”Ah, you’re having a boy, when you carry it all up front and neat like that, that’s the sign” bla bla)
#3: Scary pregnant woman tyranny (Bring me chicken nuggets NOW)
#4: Everyone being very solicitous about your wellbeing
#5: Learning to take things easy

And as of last night:

#6: Feeling what I really think was a proper kick.

And now that I’ve also finished the ironing, because I am, blessedly, feeling a little better, I thought I would blog about baby stuff.

During my period of house arrest I did manage to get out on a few occasions to test the recovery waters - suffice to say that both of these should probably not have occurred given the consequences, but on the bright side Him and I did manage to get ourselves an excellent deal on a carrycot/pushchair/pram/buggy/stroller/wotsit (is there anyone out there who can enlighten me on the difference between these? I’ve decided to decide that a pushchair and a stroller are the same thing and a pram is a carrycot plus chassis but still don’t have a verdict on buggy/wotsit).

So I present to you our new Stokke Xplory (on the right is the carrycot, 0-6 months; on the left the standard seat from 6 months until the kid is too big to be even thinking about still sitting in a pushchair):

We obviously won’t be able to give a proper review on this until the bean comes out and we have occasion to take him/her on a walk, but what we really like so far is the little one being able to be high up - plus the Xplory’s excellent height adjustment, manoeuvrability, and what appears to be a very smooth ride. I think it’s pretty funky too. Although it looks massive next to me, but that appears not to be incongruent with a lot of the other carrycots/pushchairs/prams/buggies/strollers/wotsits on the market. The majority of the Xplory being high off the ground probably exacerbates the visual effect of bulk too.

Other purchases we are planning for the coming months are a cotbed (I am very taken with the Stokke Sleepi because it’s gadgety and I am a sucker for gadgets, but just can’t justify the cost), a baby sling (possibly a Cuddly Wrap), and our car-seat (almost definitely a Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix). Then the little bits and pieces like bedding, clothes and nappies, etc, though we’re hoping to keep things as simple and streamlined as possible and not amass too many baby ‘necessities’ that aren’t.

If anyone has any particular recommendations, don’t-buys, or just wants to comment randomly, please proceed.

Ah, the incandescent joy of being able to breathe through at least one nostril.