Me (calling home): Hi Mum.
Mum: Hello dear! Where are you calling from?
Me: I’m at work at the moment Mum.
Mum: What are you doing at work on a Sunday??
Me: I’ve got a lot of work to do and I thought it would be better to try and get some of it out of the way today rather than panicking tomorrow.
Mum: Is it because you’re slow?
Me:…

I did a spelling and grammar test thingy on the BBC website this evening which easily added to my lofty opinion of my own abilities.

Naturally I have now proceeded to spell flipflops wrong twice (flopslops and then flipflips). Mind you, perhaps it’s a tpying casls I edne.

Me: Look, my spots are fading!
Him: Yes, they would fade faster if you didn’t nuke them. A swamp full of mosquitoes doesn’t need a nuclear weapon.
Me:…
Him: It’s an analogy.
Me: Oh, so now I have a face like a swamp full of mosquitoes.
Him:…
Me:…
Him: Bad analogy.